Emotional Intelligence…Lacking

How do you deal with an individual at work that lacks Emotional Intelligence? A person that says random, possibly offense remarks, with no concern for the individuals around him/her. This person is upset about something, somebody or maybe has a strong opinion about a political candidate etc. Often we want to go right back with our opinions…. but why become part of that mess?

Instead pull the individual aside and try the direct “oh by-the-way approach. ” (Quite often an individual is so out of touch with their comments, they aren’t even aware they are being offensive)

It will come off more subtle and informative vs. offensive.

When addressing the individual, use “I” often to take ownership. Explain to the person that you thought that maybe they were unaware that the comments were offensive, and you were just letting them know for future reference. This should soften the reaction.

If you want to learn more about Emotional Intelligence take a look at the book:

“Measuring Emotional Intelligence” Written by Steve P. Simmons, M.Ed. and John C. Simmons

2 thoughts on “Emotional Intelligence…Lacking

  1. This is kind of what happened to me. A friend told me I had a poor reputation last year and I often said inappropriate comments. Since then I have worked with a mentor at EQmentor and made huge improvements in the area of self-regulation. It’s a tough thing to tell someone and even harder to hear, but it was totally worth it.

  2. MM,

    I applaud you for taking the comments from your friend as constructive and growing from the experience!


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